The daily “interaction” sessions in the college buses provide a quite a lot of entertainment. Today it was just another day filled with laughs and funny stuff, but you gotta see this!
We asked one of the freshers to write a telugu song in english, the song was Ramma Chilakamma and this is the translation written by him.
Ramma Chilakamma in English
Been driving a lot lately, in my brand new Swift. Previously though, I used to drive a Corsa, which has the suspension made in heaven. The Corsa’s springs are incredibly soft and hence it glides smoothly on Indian roads. In the Corsa, speed bumps/breakers were just minor defects on the road, I never really used to care and always went flat out on them and as expected I only felt a small “thud”, nothing more. But with the Swift in my hands now, its a totally different scenario. The suspension is stiffer, horrible tyres and most of all its new. I cannot trash it like I did with the Corsa, driving needs to be gentle and smooth, quite contrary to my driving style. But, none the less I had to be smooth and gentle on it till at least the 1st servicing. It is then that I started noticing what are called “Speed Breakers” here in India.
For some unknown reason people assume that its their birth right to set up breakers where ever they want. They also assume that the piece of road which is in contact with their houses is their private property and that they have full rights over it. Slowly as more cars n bikes started appearing on the roads, the general public were beginning to get scared. Breakers started appearing on roads, home made ones. They spread like wild fire, within months there were hundreds of them.
I observed all the bumps I went over and even categorized them. Here are some of my observations.
How they are supposed to be
Thats how they are supposed to be.
General Home made bumps
These are the type of bumps laid my most of people here in Hyderabad, they are around 10 inches wide and 4 inches high. Even cars like Corsa and Bolero have trouble with these things. They are just lumps of cement, yes cement not tar, on the road. They are horrible to cars and also your back. No one seems to understand how irritating and harmful they are. You’ll find these in front of houses belonging to people who don’t own cars and hence they don’t know their effects.
Bumps my Smug Idiots
Then there are people who lay these, these are even higher but not any wider and still possess the same qualities but are “curved”. They think they are better than everyone else because they used “curves” and feel smug about it. The fact remain, these are worse and againg very irritatiing. You have to a complete halt before you “climb” them.
 Deadly |
 Ultra |
If it rains, it comes down really bad, flooding the entire city, damaging the roads and sinking communities. The roads are eroded by all the flowing water. Water sometimes is guided by the bumps, and it erodes the road adjacent to the bumps resulting in the two variants above. They are same but their severeity varies with the side from which you are appraoching. The first, Deadlies are the worst because you cant see the ditch after the bump and once you are on the bump there is no stopping you, the car just drops straight down. The other, Ultras are little better when compared because you slow down seeing both the ditch and the bump.
Child Protectors
Some people are insane. They think 2 breakers in quick succession, usually bordering the area in they want the vehicles to be slow, are better somehow. When asked upon, they say “Hey kids play on the this road, it needs to be safe for them”.
Military Bumps
Finally the ones laid by the Military, yes the Indian Army. They are triangles. If you don’e believe me, drive around the Secunderabad club.
Rains not only drown Hyderabad but also, kill my net connection. This is what it used to be in the before days. It got worse; the internet service at my home had reached a stage where it works only when it wants to or if the ISP wants it to, whether it rains or not is irrelevant. So if I want to access the net, I have to call the ISP and yell at him and his lousy service and then hope I’ll get connected. It is analogous to a dial up connection where the yelling relates to the gibberish sounds the modem makes when it connects. However, after a few days of successive dial-up-isp-get-cable-internet-for-20min-at-50%packetloss-5KBps, everything shut down. The connection doesn’t even exist now. The internet led on my router doesn’t blink anymore, at the same time though I went off to live at my aunt’s place and was not bothered about it. Meanwhile at home dad and sis were paranoid over the lack of packets and started calling me for access as if I were an intermediate server. A week later I called him up and howled for I think almost twenty-five minutes telling him that if he didn’t fix it by the next day evening I would no longer be paying for his services, assuming he would ignore my threat I called up home and requested dad also to serve an ultimatum. I was expecting this plan to work, but it seems he never sent a single person for check-up or call back. I was amazed at their customer service; he has such a big base of ignorant users he decided to completely ignore us. Finally, to sum up I don’t have an always on connection anymore, which renders all my systems completely useless even the monster.
Luckily though, I have a Tata-Indicom wireless phone line which provides internet access via dial-up at 40ps per min. I think I will be on this for a while and hence my presence online will decrease drastically. Right now I am on a mission to convince people at home to get a BSNL line and improve their cyber-lives. I think its working, and so well that if I were a BSNL salesman I would have sold a thousand connections by now. Only issues being the initial 2000Rs+ installation, the 900Rs monthly rental and if BSNL is in we have to disconnect the wireless line. A hard notion for my father to digest on but I’m willing to wait.
Notice: All Schumacher/Ferrari fans, it is requested that you perform a ritual/prayer/ceremony/sacrifice/offering in your respective religion and ask your god to crash Alonso in the coming Hungarian GP. This will close up the championship tables and make the season more interesting. Thank you.
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